Open is really Closed - and this poem isn't well-written and I don't like it but I'm sitting in a patch of scratchy grass scratching my pen against this blank page

Open wide
and swallow me whole

past patterns condition
          actions
         behaviors
          choices
past patterns condition 

All I had to do was wait
for you to tilt my chin up,
to face your face,
face to face

but past patterns condition
        actions -       
              and I'm not good at waiting

 I'm afraid of a lot of things
and I've learned to take what I want
or it'll be taken from me
and I'm afraid of a lot of things
  but all I see is you,
  trying to look through me
with insipid eyes

Open wide
and swallow me whole

I think
and I think
but mostly
I think that you have this idea in your mind
 of what two people should be
 and this knot in this tree
 is causing a knot in my back

pressed hip to hip
bone to bone
 yeah, do I stray from that?
 from your predetermined ideal?
yeah, maybe I move too fast

but past patterns condition
           actions
         behaviors
         choices
past patterns condition

 I'm too used to being swallowed whole